What am I good at?

For when I'm at lost, I return to this comfort zone.

I've thought a lot about revamping this pit hole but I just couldn't seem to make out what I wanna write about, as in, should I make it into a food blog? But I don't eat new food every week. I don't shop or travel either so I won't have the raw materials for my blog.

Makes me wonder, what am I actually good at? This self-discovery road hasn't been easy. I've likened myself to being jack of all trades, master of none. I know a little of journalism, a little of linguistics, a little of editing but am I so damn good in all of them? No.

I have a love-hate relationship with journalism. I can't fit into the rigid style of writing, nor I can stick to a specific topic for so long before I confuse my readers and lead them into the Triwizard maze.

On the other hand, I love linguistics; how every aspect of language can be studied under microscopic lenses or how human brains process language. However, I have love for it, doesn't mean I've come to study every nook and cranny of it. Though, psycholinguistics has been a favourite of mine.

As for editing, I don't love or hate it. If I have to pick a word, I like it. This is something I can say I'm good at it albeit being on a novice level, but somehow past experiences have shaped me to have this mind of an editor, which includes the grammar nazi in me. Now, advancing into grad school in this field, I've learned the technicalities and somehow they come natural to me. (Not the research part, of course.) I would say I've struck a balance between something I like and something I am or I will be good at and somehow, this is quite enough for me to love what I do now and in the future.

For someone who has a low self-esteem or someone rarely to give credits to herself, I've never heard myself say I am bloody darn good in something. It's just not me because I believe there will always be someone better than I do in what I claim to be best at. So, technically for me, there's no best of me. Sounds a little sad?  A little.

But from time to time, I try to give myself a pat on the back to how far I've reached but also a little motivation to keep myself going. It really is tough, but when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I'm trying my level best to be tough every day. I struggle with research, the academic aspect of grad school. It was all fun and teary with organizing a seminar and learning editing symbols, it's not that fun cooping yourself up in the room feeling guilty all the time but have no progress in your research. Every single day is a struggle but I manage to get off the bed, at the very least. Also, to the people who know and don't know my struggle but always seem to still think highly of me and love me, thank you all. I'm still fighting.

Alright, alright, I'll save some gratitudinal speech for when I graduate. I will graduate this time next year, I will, I have to. There's just too much at stake, we'll talk about that some time later.

Enough ranting for today, lots of love

SOPLYD

I usually visit my own blog when I'm supposed to be working on things I've put on hold for far too long. But it's my place of comfort, so yeah.

A few weeks ago, I was fed a pill so bitter I could only cry. The pill was called: Seeing Other People Living Your Dream. SOPLYD. (I could've come up with a better acronym but as far as Ryan Higa teaches, any acronym is good enough to make a video/make into a blog.)

Talk about broken dreams. At first, you are really happy for them, make plans for them, encourage them and once they announce that they're actually doing what you've been dreaming of doing, your heart just breaks. At the same time, you're still really happy for them. How could I not? She's my sister.

Stairs collapsing and towers falling apart behind the smiles you put up for them. You have to keep on that smile to show your support and share your excitement. It wasn't as if there were no excitement or genuine happiness, but deep down you couldn't help that you felt a sting upon the announcement.

You live in denial for a few days, not for the fact that somebody else is living your dream but for the fact that you don't feel anything else but being happy for them. You know you're wrenching your heart every time this topic is being brought up, you know you're gripping your tears to not let them appear in your eye sockets, you know you just can't hide your admiration and jealousy much longer.

But you still live in denial, not being quite honest with yourself.

All it took was for PMS to let it all out, how convenient. That one day where everything feels wrong, those few days before where you feel overwhelmed with everything big and small around you. Then when you do cry, it's not for some trivial Friday night nonsense, but for all other real feelings you've hidden so well beneath the smiles. Or so you thought.

And when that happens, there's no more denial, because there's just no point to that. I've learned to isolate myself and not talk to people when this happens. It's just me and me alone dealing with my feelings that I've put aside too long, in my cave. I have a cave, yes, and it's not brightly lit and words and sentences scribbled and stopped mid-sentence on the walls.

Lucky for me, I have someone waiting for me outside the cave and I'm definitely not taking him for granted with my occasional visits to my cave. It takes a person of such for you to feel like yourself again, to remind you to be honest with yourself again and that just tops everything else. You need to be you by being completely honest with your feelings, among other important things too.

When you've sorted out your emotions after the dam breaks, you start thinking again. For me, reminding myself the path that I've taken and stick with it. I have chosen this path and I shall lay bricks ahead of this path. I call it Realistic Path, the road mostly taken. I once thought with my bold endeavours, I was living up to my dream. But I was wrong, I was merely taking the path that I chose because I just needed to feel in control of my own life.

And that's okay.

I don't mean to tell you to let your dreams be broken or see your dreams self-destruct and you're not doing anything about it and graciously take the SOPLYD pill. What I'm saying is, if it happens, tell yourself it's okay. It's not okay at first but it will be. It takes a certain degree or wisdom, hardships, maturity and a certain someone to help you make peace with your broken dreams. It's a detour you're taking now.

But if there's a glimpse of hope of you building your dream again or a new-found goal, please strive for it, by all means, please do it. There's only this many excuses you can give yourself. As long as you're trying, you're living the dream.

It wasn't meant to be a sort-of-motivational post, but it turned out to be one. It's just one way of writing to myself, for myself, as a reminder that tomorrow will come and you've just gotta move on.





Lots of hugs

Hiatus

24/3/2016

After reading my last entry which was 5 months ago, I felt like I've grown out of that person. Perhaps because last semester has seriously toughen me up and it's not in the slightest moment that I've regretted going through it. Maybe just a warning the next time I want to take up PhD.

Nowadays, every night before I sleep, I can only think about when will I start my editing on that manuscript snuggled in my Publishing Project folder or how can I manage to finish 3 chapters of my dissertation by the end of this semester, along with publishing a book from editing to choosing the type of cover that I want for my book. It sounds impossible just by writing about it.

I know, with the bombings in Ankara and Brussels, my little stones can be overcome easily, they're not even explosives to begin with. But if your body is literally affected by all the stress you can't handle, I'm sure these aren't just little stones. I'm not saying I'm being terrorized (or maybe I am?), I'm just saying for a small ant, a little stone is like a hill. I'm that small ant right now.

It's best to focus on tasks on hand; easier to manage and stress are fairly distributed (Ha if that's even possible). One step at a time. But when your partner is already a member of the working society, you can't help but be involved in the plannings of your future together of buying a house, getting a new car or just investing in yourselves for a lifetime together. I'm not saying this is a burden, I'm saying it feels so grown up to be needed to juggle your studies, finance, family, relationship, faith, friendships, and health with only one body. I guess, I just don't want to be 24 and a grownup.

Sorry, if it sounds like the sole purpose of my writing is to ramble and seek sympathy, I'm not. I just feel better (sometimes) after writing it out.

When I think of my future, I see myself working in a publishing house running between floors and buildings on streets and cities to finish an assignment. At times, I see myself crawling between furniture in my house with an aimless mind and lethargic body. Such extremes, much worries. At least sometimes, I have this middle ground where everything has turned out alright and I'm always home before him and waiting for him to come home to me every night. Dreams and reality do fuck you up sometimes. 

Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. 

31/5/2016

I just remembered I had this post drafted and long forgotten until now. This is so me.

Hello October!

After my first presentation doing master degree, I felt like half of the world's weight is off of my shoulders. I was barely able to withstand the journey in the tunnel to reach the hazy light. But I made it! And I'll always, always be thankful for someone who's willing to be there by my side. Even when I'm bawling my eyes out due to stress and volatile hormones.

But now I'm swarmed with probably 8 assignments on hand, plus minus. This is overwhelming! Every day I think of the many things on my to-do list and the first thing I feel like doing is take a nap. So productive of me. 

So far, life's treating me pretty well. I'm the kind of girl that wants to be one independent woman who works her way up in her life without anyone's help. But when you throw in Aaron Boo, you get me standing on weak knees. You can call it dependent or clingy but he's my weakness, my place of comfort and my happy place. #cheesy

With a little internet mishap and drama in my new rented house, I'm pleased to say I overcome it. *flex biceps* Of course I did. In the process, I probably cried buckets of stressful tears and some loose taps dripping tears constantly. Oh well, it might be due to hormones. #excuses

Anyway, there was something interesting, worth enough to mention, I guess. The "wedding" and "marriage" terms keep popping up to us and they keep taking over our topics of discussion. Partly contributed with him being one of the best men in his friend's wedding, and many weddings seem to have fallen on that weekend.

Honestly, I'm not freaked out by the fact that we talk our about marriage and wedding; I'm freaked out that I'm not freaked out when we have this kinda talk. It usually starts with, "You know, next time when we get married ah..." or "Oh, on our wedding, right..." Won't that basically freak some people out?

In contrary, I'm looking forward to it, not in a bridezilla or I-can't-wait-to-get-married way, it's more like I am looking forward to spending a new chapter of my life with someone so beautiful inside out. He's not a saint, but he's mine and what's mine is perfect. #cheesyagain. And heck, I'm definitely not bridezilla *touch wood* I don't even want to have a big wedding. Who cares about flowers arrangement, anyway?

Seeing him playing with his fellow so-called grownups now, I think I might fallen in love with a little boy. Or just the little boy in him too. He mentioned once that nobody has noticed this boyishness in him, and I think to myself, ironically they call him childish. Oh well, boys are complicated, not so simple as they might have put it out there. Oh well.

It seems like whenever I try to write something serious, I get distracted with lovey-dovey love life of mine. Ahh the wonders of love, one shall not perish in it. Signing off!

When is ready, ready?

When you set a goal for yourself, you plan out missions to conquer and with little missions accomplished, you get steps closer to your goal.

I on the other hand, set a goal too. But as a lazy introvert-first-extrovert-second, I can't seem to get my little missions done. I have a problem which is I'm not able to discipline myself. It might be from my upbringing, my mother wasn't much of a rotan woman.

My sister and I were given the freedom to choose how we grow up. Yup, that's how I can put it. We were given the chance to grow up and explore what's right and what's wrong on our own. We were always given a "Yes" when it comes to sleepover or an outing. We're those lucky children with a cool mom, I know.  What a liberty, isn't it?

I was never pushed to my limits, I set my own limits which was usually low. I was never ushered, never been really put under strict rules, the free-spirited girl who did what she wanted when she wanted it. I grew up fine, I guess. 

I don't blame my mom for not setting more rules, I thank her for giving me the freedom to discover who I am as a person and the freedom to be who I am today. With the right turns and the wrong turns, I am made of who I was.

So when it comes to self discipline, I can't do it. Yes, that's bad for my resume. But I just can't. This results in all my last-minute encounters and my master in procrastinating. And guess what? I'm starting my class for Master next week. A real master degree program.

I'm not ready.

*self-pity alert, do not proceed if you can't stand the sight of some self-wallowing*

With a tight finance and my lack of enthusiasm in writing a dissertation, even though it won't happen until the next semester, among other matters that somehow managed to get on my concerned list, I feel lost again.

I thought doing Master will set it straight for me. I'm not saying I do not want to do this, I want to. But since I know myself that well, plus my low self-esteem, I don't think I'm cut out for this.

I'm not going to write some inspiring essay on how to pick myself up. I'm blatantly complaining and making excuses for myself right here and now. Every little thing irks the shit out of me and I'm trying to reason with myself again into believing in myself and my decision to take up this program.

I'm not ready.

Money ain't gonna roll its way in on me, being a student means being poor again. Not to mention the debt you're piling up. What's so good about studying anyway?

Sometimes, I question myself whether the real reason behind me enrolling for Master is because I want to avoid the tough road of looking for a job, avoiding rejection over rejection and the possibility of me ending up doing something I do not like.

You see, being a free-spirited girl, I don't often do things for the sake of greater good. I do things emotionally. Meaning, if I have no interest, I will not do it. Even if I do, I will not get satisfying results. I'm not the type where I grit my teeth and finish things in what I'm good at even though I don't like it.

But inside, I always have this dream working in publications. I know I cannot be a writer, but I know I can help some good writers publish what they love to write. In my opinion, you need a good book to make you money but you don't necessarily need a good one to achieve your dreams. Unless of course your dream is to become the bestseller.

I don't always read bestsellers or classics. Neither would I read some great prose or highly recommended book just because it's on top of everyone's reading list. I can tell you that I love chick-lits and I never finished How To Kill a Mockingbird.

This is why I feel I'm not ready! Not for this new chapter, not for this new challenge. Is this really what I want? When will I be ready to face myself and this world we live in today?

Writing about writing.

Lately I've been pondering on the reason why I've been so reluctant to blog again. I used to be able to do it on a daily basis during high school and even though I had nothing special to blog about, I still managed to ooze my feelings and happenings into tangible words.

Those were the days where a small girl in a small town has nothing interesting to do and nowhere nice to go, no smartphone and still using Friendster era, I was able to be myself and write every nook and cranny of my heart out.

Years passed by and that blog has long been forgotten. Until memories drew me back to the old blog and yes I still managed to log in.

As I was reading it, I was almost appalled and cringed more than I should. I was reading my own blog, why would I  grimaced while reading and not  remember what happened?

After days of obsessing over this cringe-worthy old blog, I decided to delete the whole thing, the entire blog. But I chose to retain the name - The Outcast.

I've come to realize that I'm afraid to write, not only because I always think I'm not good enough, but also because I know, once experiences and emotions written, they are immortalized into words.

I can't be deleting and creating a new blog whenever I have chills reading awkward situations or deep emo posts I've been through and written about. I have to commit to something, now that I think of it. Might as well be a blog?

Yes, besides my relationship, I need something else to keep my head occupied and exercised too.

Words to me, they are the primary form of communication, also for most people, what more with texting and IMs nowadays.

But when I can't speak, I write. When I can't sing, I write. When I can't cry, I write. When I can't laugh, I write. Tell me something I don't do without writing it out first.

I write in my own space, and I love it. It sort of liberates me, like a functioning human being who knows how to wonder and wander. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the existence of letters and words. I find writing comforting and relaxing but also pressured at the same time to write better.

Writing has been a rough journey for me. In fact, it has just started again. Every single day is a new day for me to write. Some days I'm afraid of what I'm capable and incapable of writing, other days I spit out like farting right after exiting the elevator. Like now, duh.

I wanna be done writing about writing, I wanna start writing about expressing and inspiring personal feelings, inducing and creating emotions from those who read me.

I can't be caring now that I have no readers. Someone told me once, somewhere along this line, if I don't write, how's anyone gonna read?

Writing is fearful yet rewarding, be courageous to write. Nothing beats a smooth train of thoughts.

Cheers,

Believe

I had the strangest feeling, your world's not all it seems.
So tired of misconceiving, what else this could've been.

I don't even know if I wanna believe.

For all those who think they've lost someone who could've meant something, this is for you. You might have just ended up with the better part of the deal. Keep moving on.

With love

Kids, love?

It's a crazy thing to actually already imagine your life with someone with the possibility of having kids and setting up your new home somewhere you both find comfort and you call it your little nest.

It's even crazier to be thinking that with someone you know that doesn't want kids.

I haven't been a big advocate of having kids myself but I've always imagined a family with little toddlers running around the garden and you get to indulge in a parental right to take photos of your little creations, their tiny little feet and hands, their "Michelin" baby skin (which I've googled it's a syndrome that you do not want your kids to get) and not to forget that classic baby in the sink photo! Not to mention, reading fairytales or history of Chinese dynasties with the Mings and Zhus with their generals and concubines, in which I would not read it to them because I'm clueless about history which leaves only one other person in this imaginary family of mine to read to the little toddlers.

Where was I? I got carried away, real far. In which you might think "This girl really do want kids!" but, no. Or maybe not. It's just... I've never really thought about it until I've met someone that I know I will spend the rest of my life with. It's like some animal instinct in us, like how a wolf decides to mate after the courting period and how they deem each other good enough for them. Out of all the animals, why the wolf? Because wolf packs are akin to a nuclear family.

Truth to be spoken, I don't know if I want them or I just like the idea of them. For him, he knows how hard it is to bring children up, hence no kids. For me, I just think I grew up fine with a challenging environment. I am who I am because of what life chose for me and what I chose for my life. I already have this trust in my future kids (let's just call them that for now, lacking of better names) that they too will grow up fine to be great human beings. Surely, I understand where he comes from, having a girlfriend who's like a kid herself most of the time, he might just not consider having another one who doesn't even know how to at least wipe their own shit.

Which brings me to also the idea of having dogs in a family. That has never gotten in my picture. Simply being I don't have pets nor am I exposed to the frail life of dogs. After knowing him and being introduced to five dogs at once as a part of the family, I'm up for adorable, loyal beings like them. Although...I'm not so keen on having all five in one go.

So, the current standing is the likelihood of having dogs in a family is definitely higher than having little human being(s).

We'll see how it goes then?

Off Balance.

Ever felt like you've been thrown off balance and you can't realign yourself? Like you've been pushed left and right vigorously like your soul is forced out of your body? And when you do return, you need to again familiarize your limbs, how to gesticulate or even walk. You wonder if what you've done so far isn't entirely wrong but isn't right either.

That's what I'm feeling right now.

It has now turned to some kinda detachment stage like I need to distant myself from everyone and plant my feet back on the ground. This stage is volatile. I won't know if this lost-and-found soul would accept this "new" body like it used to fit so well.

So far, all this body does is push the one she needs most away.

Being her

I've been thinking a lot lately about this blog, should I revive it? Should I add more colours to it by painting it with photos of my little journeys? Like some kinda travelling + scenic photos?

But then again, I wouldn't be able to do so in a small town with with no state-of-the-art camera. Or just an amateur DSLR. Although, a small town won't be enough of an excuse. There's a lot of food. Some recently called it "dessert heaven". Yeah right. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, I'm also a lazy person who I think will not be able to upkeep this blog and maintain a stable network of readers. Not to mention boring? Ha.

If you're reading this, means you've found the little random thoughts in my head, my musings. I'm no celeb, why read me?

And since I don't call myself an actual blogger who benefits readers with a travel diary or some kind of advice column, I'll just settle with just being me. Me being Wei X. Sounds cool?

I'm cool with that (;

Living Things

The only song I can truly express for the lost of #MH370.

Lyrics may not matter directly but this song brings out inexplicable turmoil.

And the bad dream that I had where my love packed his bag and left without a trace.

Also, for the stage 4 needforsleep that I'm suffering from.

#NFS best OST.

Hooked.

Mad World

I’m sorry that I’m only here when I feel so down, like I could drown myself in my own sorrows that came outta nowhere.

At times like this, there’s no better reason for me to pick up my passport and book a flight outta this cubicle, this country and leave. Regrets will come later, y’know last minute flight booking isn’t very cheap. But I’d do it anyway.

Thankfully (OR NOT!) for my passport that is safely sitting in the drawer of my house where I grew up, I don’t have to mourn for the burnt down bank account.

No unplanned trips, no strikethrough my bucket list. Sad, isn’t it?

So here I am, writing. Writing always makes me feel better in a way that I know I can make readers feel bad by reading such depressing post which might bore them out too with my uncreative style of writing. Yippee!

But I’m so keen in taking the risk of writing while in the office! “We got a badass here!” makes me feel like I’m actually doing something dangerous and that spells F-U-N.

So, I came across this song “Mad World” by Gary Jules on Spotify and for someone who has been reading about the philosophy of life from philosophers in the field of Buddhism, I feel so…connected to it. Like man, your words are so damn right.

“I feel kinda funny, I feel kinda sad” that people living in this world right now is so blinded by daily races and worn out faces everywhere. The excesses of materialism and the technospehere have taken over our lives and I feel we care more for the value in the bank than the life itself.

The question here is: do people sit down and ponder about life?

Here’s the song I was talking about and how bout you listen and tell me how you perceive life in this burning mad world.

Lyrics to die for.

Write.

Write to write. Write because you need to write. Write to settle the rage within you. Write with an internal purpose. Write about something or someone that means so much to you, that you don’t care what others think.

-Nick Miller

And because of this, I've found another reason to never stop writing.

Fill your life with people who inspire you because I know YOU wanna feel inspired every day to do something meaningful.

Even if it only means writing some little thing that keeps you going for the day.

How Not to be An ExamStress-head

Here's an article I wrote for my mock newspaper assignment. Ought to make good use of it so I blogged it.

When you are finally done with burning the midnight oil for assignment deadlines and presentations, you tell yourself that you deserve a break from all the chaos from typing late at night with your left eye half-closed. Alas, there is no possible way to do so when the study break is taken away from UTAR’s examination timetable.

It is not humanly possible to serenade yourself with the short break when you have 8 million pages of stories and poems to read for Malaysian Literature finals next Wednesday. In this situation, you have the right to be overwhelmed and stressed because the condition you’re facing right now is in no place for grace.

Many of us run in 21 directions at once, and it will get us nowhere. When you start drowning and hyperventilating at the little time you have left with not only Malaysian Literature to start off with, you have 3 more major papers lining up, you need to STOP everything but START doing one thing at a time. Do not waste time stressing out because when you start losing it, you are a goner.

For some people, stress acts as their biggest motivator while others see it as the Reaper. Here are some tips on how to become a cool head before the finals.

First of all, tackle your subjects one at a time. It may sound cheesy but these wise words from Head of Department of Language and Linguistics, Mr Krishnan, are so true. Remind yourself that you can only do what you can do and it is impossible to do more with the little time allocated. Just remember to do your best and the best is what you can do. Focus on the task at hand and pretend it is the only thing to do. This is the part where being in denial actually helps.

Next, work on your priorities list and take care of your basic needs. If you cannot focus in reading your notes because you have that 3-week laundry nagging at the back of your head, then go get it done. If you are hungry, go grab a bite or two. Empty stomach will not fill the brain with knowledge. If you are cold, grab a jacket. Let your eyes rest, let your feet rest. Massage your neck when it is getting sore. Most important of all, sleep when you are tired. 

You may have won the battle (sleepiness) now, but you will lose the war (finals).

Let’s establish a reward system for yourself. If you finish Chapter 1 and 2, you can treat yourself with dessert or a fun thing for yourself or with your friends. When you are out hanging out, enjoy to the fullest of the littlest of time you can get. So when you return from a 3-hour outing, you will tell yourself to study more because you think you are far behind in your studies after the outing. You can actually finish 2 to 3 chapters by thinking that you need to catch up with yourself sooner rather than later.

You can run the stress off, shake it off with dancing to Salt and Pepa – Push It or blast it off with some heavy metal or K-Pop, whichever suits you. Relax and let loose, calm your nerves and give yourself a pat on the back for making it this far. Give yourself some encouragement and stay positive that everything is going to be alright in the end.

Last but not least, the classic – fix a personal in-home timetable. It keeps you in check and your mind will not drift to the things that have not been done because everything now has their specific time to be accomplished. All you need to do is allocate enough time for each big or small task and be sure to follow it. Set some rules too, like no tweeting or reblogging when you have books on the desk. Do it sometime later when you are in the kitchen or in the washroom.

Whenever you encounter a stressful situation, especially one like facing the final examination, it is crucial to realize that it will all be okay in the end. Just take a deep breath, call your mom for support, light a candle and cuddle with teddy bears or flirt with someone. Or swear if you must and then get back to work. Just remember, one step at a time. Always tell yourself, you can do it and things are only impossible until they are not.

Inspired by Thought Catalog and Hello Giggles.

NOT TO FORGET VICTOR KIM!

A New Perspective

I want to share the fluffiness that I felt today. I felt so light today, as if the world has nothing on me, I have nothing to bear on my shoulders and I could fly. Nothing in particular made me felt that way. It may be the Daimoku, it may be the presence of that someone in the room, the actions that he took to draw a smile on your face randomly, the little moments you spent serenely lost in your thoughts that even outside noise has no way of poking the sphere, the little scream of excitement in your head when you found a damn good song to download, or it may be just the fact that the year of the snake is approaching and you just can't wait to be home-bound.

Little sad thoughts creep in from time to time but I turned them to good memories; as a matter of fact, they really were memories with the people you once loved and they still hold a special place in your heart. Why be sad when you can't change a thing, instead think of them as happy times and push yourself to create even better memories with the people you have right now while you can!

No more dwelling in the past, there's only future to look up to and the best present of life is present isn't it? ;)

P.S: My new found love - Ed Sheeran.

Helplessness.

That situation you're in where you feel totally helpless. You know you've brought it upon yourself and you knew this will come to you eventually.
You know you're not supposed to tell one lie because one lie is the start of thousands more to come. And you can't tell the truth because then those that you lied to will know all the truths that you told them were all lies.
You know you still have faith in that teaching, you know you do. But it is pointless when you don't even make an effort to practice it.
And then you coop up in the shower and cry while the rain is your accomplice who helps you cover up your little crime.
You wanna turn back time. You wished you'd follow your mind rather than your heart. You wished.

"A Promise to Everyday Love"

I'm spoilt by your love, boy.

"I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours."

Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook.

Disclaimer: The photo is from the link in the caption.

I have lost the touch. In writing.

He and She

He who has felt
Did not first feel with her
She who has felt
Air again breathes to her

He who has penned
Did not write it first for her
She who has read
An infatuation is her

He who feels, feeling it true?
She who doubts, doubting it real?

He has the truth
She has the trust