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Wow. I didn't know this will be that heart wrenching.

It's that kinda sadness that you told yourself repeatedly that you'll be feeling it the next day, so be ready. When the next day comes, it happens. You can feel the wall starting building itself up before the reality sets in. Brick by brick, your heart is safe, at least for a while. All is up, strong and steady, like the Great Wall of China, up for defense yet it's also like the Berlin Wall, it wasn't supposed to be there. The whole day you kept yourself busy and get more distractions like laughing your ass off over some lame cartoon jokes that only children find it amusing. You'll listen to music or more to the lyrics that sings everything you're feeling now. You gave up because there's not any exact words to explain how you feel. Then you come to the music where all you can hear is pounding bass and senseless lyrics. You gave up too because the increase of the heartbeat reminds you of the heart yesterday that was beating in excitement. It was playing fireworks on 4th of July. You pretended to be excited for a dinner with your comrade, get dressed up and all because you didn't have the chance to do it earlier. Oh well, you kinda overdress for a casual girls dine out but you couldn't care less. Gossips after gossips, you thought you can chuck that thing behind your mind. Once you stop talking to eat, your attention goes back there. Then you're chewing, you're looking at the cars tailing cars, drivers being impatient for the light to turn green, still your attention wanders there. Last try, scrolling down buzzfeed for "32 Pictures You Need To See Before You Die". Tried laughing but you knew you're lying through your teeth.

Alas, came the right song and the perfect best man to pour it out. Tears has taken its toll and it was time to gush down the face from the broken dam. Somehow you've been strong for so long, you've learnt to hold it and suck it in. Practice makes perfect.